A Tiger and Hairy Hands
An interesting thing happened to me today. It made me a bit angry, but I decided to let it out in this blog. I talked about it briefly before. However right now I would really like to elaborate on this issue and show the foreign men what Russian women have to go through in order to keep Russian men beside them. Also I will include a personal story from my past.
Several months ago I decided to join a well-known Russian social network called “VKontakte.” This social network phenomenally resembles Facebook and many people even say that the creator of this social network Pavel Durov simply plagiarized the Zuckerberg’s idea. Anyhow, I joined this site in order to reunite with my former classmates and chat with them once in a while. Also I joined several public communities for different causes so I could receive daily feeds from them. One of such public communities was called “A thousand demons, what a tattoo!” As you could gather this public was dedicated to tattoos. Any of its members could share any time his or her impressions of a certain tattoo. With a course of time I understood that the opinion of this crowd was quite one-sided. They liked old school tattoos, sleeves and others that were perhaps trending somewhere in Moscow.
I felt curious of what they might say on my tattoo that I had done about 6 month ago. It is a baby tiger with a bat wing executed in the style of the music band “Gorillaz.” I could not decide whether I should to do that because I had seen how they rip apart some of the tattoos, which I thought were pretty cute. However, my curiosity prevailed and I gave in. I posted a picture of my tattoo and started waiting for the feedback. The results surprised me. There were only two people that critiqued my tattoo but they looked like trolls so I did not pay much attention to their opinion. The rest of the comments turned out to be about the hair on my arms. That surprised me greatly, because I never thought of it as something ugly that has to be immediately removed. These comments were predominately from guys. They even exchanged a video about some hairy dude looking for his hairy girl. My decision was to have a quick look at their profiles and see who were making such unworthy of men comments. Of course I did not see a Russian George Clooney or Brad Pitt. There were lower than average type of men: dirty clothes, strange beards, and dressed as if it were 80s outside.
I did not feel offended and certainly I did not regret uploading my tattoo to this community. Live and learn, as they say. I even felt somewhat accomplished because it proved my point that most of Russian men are spoiled when it comes to women. They want to have Kate Moss beside them that is dressed like a goddess, skinny and successful. But when it comes to their own appearance, they are nothing other then pathetic Russian rednecks or as we call them “Bydlo.”
A month earlier I came for my brother’s wedding in my hometown. He and his new wife had a spare minute to talk with me and ask me how I was. Due to some unexplainable reasons our conversation came down to women that do not shave their legs. My brother’s reaction was that all of the women should shave their legs and if they don’t it looks disgusting. He also emphasized that I should not set a bad example of not shaving legs to his wife. And strictly looking at her, he said: “You won’t stop shaving your legs, will you?” Although I do shave my legs, I think women should have a choice “to shave or not to shave.” Just as men can one day decide to let their beards grow out and plenty of women like it or at least tolerate it. Nevertheless, the fact of simple fairness is generally disregarded in Russia.
Just before I met my future husband I dated a guy who with the course of time became an embodiment of this unfairness. In the beginning of our relationships he liked the way I looked and dressed. Everything was just as it was supposed to be “partners enjoy each other without seeing anything wrong.” However, everything ended quite fast. First comment concerning my appearance followed after he watched some cheesy video to a cheesy song where all of the girls resembled Victoria’s Secret’s models. He said: “Why can’t you dress and look just like those girls?” Still being in “pink glasses” I did not take this as an insult. The opposite, I wanted to become those girls on the TV. I wanted be more effeminate and shiny especially if it meant that he would be more in love with me. The only thing I said back then was “I do not have such money to look like those girls, but as soon as we earn it I would gladly start dressing like them.” The longer I stayed with him after that conversation the more hurtful his demands became.
Next complaint had to do with my “cellulite.” I would say it was imaginary cellulite since I weigh 49 kg and my height is 170. So you can picture my completion to yourself: skinny and tall. Where do you find cellulite on that body? That hurt a lot since the remark sounded like “When will you sign up for the gym? You’ve got some cellulite on your legs.” But sometimes you just don’t see the red flags life gives you. The last complaint that I could bare was about my breath or as he referred to it “a bed breath.” That simply kicked me off the track. I never had such a low self-esteem as while I was dating this asshole.
But time and pain makes you sober. I saw the person I was with all this time. I saw him objectively now. He was a 23-year-old balding guy with a growing hump on his back. You may think that I am angry and exaggerating a great deal. But I had enough time to cool off and look to the reality in the eye. That is how he looked.
Russian men are very picky and judgmental, but what they forget to do is to look at themselves in the mirror. They expect so much from women’s appearance but look like bums themselves.
It gives a hell of a lot of chances to foreign men to try and date Russian women.